


His Lost Chance

by itsbeanieboo



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, F/M, I'm Sorry, enjoy, it's sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-29
Updated: 2020-09-29
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:15:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26717338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsbeanieboo/pseuds/itsbeanieboo
Summary: Oikawa is madly inlove with his childhood best friend Y/n but he misses his chance when he finally decides to tell her he loves her.
Relationships: Semi Eita/Reader
Comments: 4
Kudos: 26





	His Lost Chance

"Thank you, Toru!" The h/c giggled as she gave him a side hug from her spot next to him at their usual table that the pair always sat at in the cafeteria, in her left hand she held a little paper bag - that he had just handed to her - containing her all-time favourite treat, pineapple mochi. The taller brunette allowed a rare genuine smile to cross his lips as he gazed at her affectionately as he watched the girl do the cute little dance she always did when she got her hands on her favourite treat. 

"Anything for you Y/n-chan." Came the cheerful reply from Oikawa lips, his heart skipping a beat at the look of pure joy spreading across her delicate features, the moan slipped from her lips as the gooey texture coating her tongue as Y/n took the first bite into the mochi. Oikawa bit the inside of his cheek at the sound, a light blush covering his cheeks, god he wished he could be the one causing her to make cute sounds. Images flooded his mind of her under him as she sinfully moaned his name, his hands slipping under her shirt fingertips meeting her soft sink, lips brushing over exposed neck. Oikawa sunk his teeth in his cheek harder dragging him out of his sinful mind, knowing what would happen if he continued to fantasize about her and those cute little noises, pushing the thoughts to the back of his head for later. 

Everyone one could see how in love Toru Oikawa was with Y/n L/n. Everyone but her. She was utterly oblivious to the fact that her childhood friend was head over heels, deeply and madly in love with her. 

On the other side of the table sat the other third-year volleyball players watching the interaction between the pair, they felt terrible for their captain. Usually, they wouldn't care but seeing him pine for his childhood best friend of, well forever, was hard to watch, but at the same time he it was laughable, they had told him over a million times to confess to her, but he would say 'no not yet,’ and shrug them off before running off to find Y/n, like he always did. They were always together; you knew if you wanted to find Oikawa, you would just have to look for Y/n and vice versa.   
"Hey Y/n?" Oikawa nudges her shoulder with his own. Glancing at him quickly, she motioned him to continue with a nod of her head before she nibbled on the pineapple goodness she gently held between her fingers once again. "Ya know that mochi cafe you have been dying to go to?" 

The other three on the other side of the table observed them like hawks, their eyes flickering between the pair, was it finally going to happen? Was Oikawa finally going to tell her?   
"Yea what about it?" She questioned, looking at him with her doe-like eyes. 

"We only have practice in the mornings this weekend, so did you want to go Saturday afternoon?" 

"Sure Toru, I have plans till about four so shall we meet at five, outside the cafe?" 

"Sounds like a plan!" He grinned at her as they threw their rubbish in the bin and headed back towards class before the bell rang. 

The smile had yet to leave "So, are you finally planning on telling her?" Iwaizumi asked as they were tidying up the gym after that day's practice. 

"Yep!" The brunette replied, popping the p. "I don't think there is a better place to tell her that, that I have been in love with her for years other than being surrounded by her favourite treat." 

"Took you long enough," Hanamaki smirked as he tossed the balls into the ball bin. "We're proud of ya, Captain." Matsukawa teased as he finished folding the net as he turned to the other three. Oikawa rolled his eyes at his friends with a smile on his face, he knew they cared in their own way, as they made their way back to the locker rooms to change, so he could meet Y/n. 

Leaning against her shoe locker like he did every evening after volleyball practice, she waited for her to finish band practice. He knew it should have ended a few minutes ago, but Y/n was always the last one out, he was used to waiting for her, not that he minded. As Oikawa leaned against the shoe cubbies, he picked at the dirt that was under his tidy well-kept nails, before he glanced threw his sinfully long eyelashes spotting a few of his fangirls whispering to one another and glancing at him not so slyly. Not one to let his fans down he flashed them his perfect swoon-worthy fake smile, which of course caused the girls to erupt into giddy squeals. 

"Honestly, Toru, stop with the fake smile and give them a real one for a change would ya. You are so handsome, and your genuine smile is swoon worthy and I, personally, love it." Y/n gentle voice reached his ears, sounding as sweet as honey even if she was slightly out of breath, causing his breath to hitch when he turned to where her voice came from. Her cheeks were slightly pink from rushing here and the way the tip of her tongue darted out to wet her lips as she ran a hand threw her unruly h/c hair made him want to gently cup her face, pin her against the lockers and kiss her. 

‘- she loves my smile.’ The thought raced through his head as a bright smile graced her features as she toed on her shoes. "Ya know you don't always have to wait for me." 

"My real smile is saved for a special someone." He replied, giving her that real smile, wondering if she might catch on, "We live next door to each other, you know I will always wait for you." He replied as he brushed a piece of her hair behind her ear like Oikawa always did out of force of habit - one of his many little ways of showing her how much he loved her - he loved the feeling of the soft skin of her cheek under his rough, calloused fingers. 

"Anyway, what kind of gentlemen would I be if I didn't wait for you? It's not safe for a younger lady such as yourself, you know." Oikawa sent her a playful wink, while Y/n just rolled her eyes playfully. "Ready?" Y/n nodded in reply to his question, adjusting the strap of her bag into a better potion on her shoulder.

Oikawa arrived at the cafe fifteen minutes early on Saturday afternoon, and he found a cute little table for them on the small patio out the front, the little cream table had a small plant pot with favourite/flowers starting to bloom, the reason he had chosen this table. He nervously sat there waiting for felt eternity as he played with the good luck charm she had made and gave him before his first official match all those years ago, between his fingers under the table. His head shot up when he heard her soft giggle fill his ears, he could pick out her giggle in any crowd, no matter how big or small, his heart began to beat rapidly as he looked around for her, only to spot her stood a little way away with the third year Shiratorizawa setter, Eita Semi. Oikawa's eyes locked on to the way her eyes crinkled as she laughed at something Semi had said, a smile graced Semi’s face when the pure angelic sound spilled from her lips. 

How did they know each other? 

Why were they spending time together? 

What is their relationship? 

"Hey, Toru!" Oikawa blinked a couple of times finding the pair standing in front of him, he had been lost in thought with all the questions floating around in his mind in a panic. "You know Semi, right?" 

"I do, Semi good to see you." Oikawa nodded politely at the ash-blond boy; Oikawa didn’t have a problem with the fellow setter; it was just Wakatoshi. 

Semi nodded politely in return to Oikawa, "And you." The two setters stared at each other for a few seconds before Semi turned his attention back to Y/n, his eyes held such a distinct look of adoration as he looked at the h/c girl, Oikawa knew that look it was the exact same gaze, according to the boys, he gave Y/n when he knew she wasn't looking at him. 

"Thanks for today sugar, it was fun." Oikawa frowned at the nickname, why hadn't he thought of that? He had known Y/n his whole life. Their parents have lived next door to each other since before their older siblings had been born, their mums are best friends, and so were they, so how did he not come up with that nickname, especially with that sweet tooth of hers? 

"Thank you, I had fun too." Y/n giggled giving Semi a gentle smile. Oikawa could feel his heart begin to crack as he began to realise, he had missed his shot, the love of his life was with someone else. 

"I'll text you later." Semi brought her into his arms wrapping them around her shoulders, giving her a squeeze before planting a quick peck on her lips. That was the final card, Oikawa's heart shattered into a million pieces as he watched her kiss him back.

Oikawa hated this. He hated how well-matched they were for one another. He felt sick to his stomach as he watched his childhood best friend and her new boyfriend. The Seijoh third years were in the park, and Y/n had asked nicely if she could invite Semi so he can meet them all outside of a volleyball match. The other third years let Oikawa decide, knowing how hard it was going to be seeing the girl he was so deeply in love with was inviting her boyfriend along, to their regular chilled out Sunday afternoons. Oikawa had always had difficulty, more like he couldn’t say no to Y/n.  
What he really was not expecting was Y/n to bring her acoustic guitar and the pair of them being able to play. The sight in front of him had jealous flaring threw his veins leaving a bitter taste on his tongue, as he watched Semi's fingers skilfully glide over the strings as he played 'til Kingdom Come by Coldplay with Y/n head resting on his shoulder, the only thing that was keeping Oikawa from lashing out at the scene was Y/n gentle voice as she sang the words. 

'For you, I'll wait till kingdom come.' He loved it when she sang, he found it calming, and he was guilty of thinking that the lyrics of some songs she sang just for him, especially the love songs.   
Oikawa was kicking himself when she offered to teach him how to play the guitar all those years ago, that he hadn’t given up so easily, wishing he had tried harder, cause maybe, just maybe she would be sat next to him with her head on his shoulder as he played the guitar instead. 

Y/n passion for music was on par with Oikawa's passion for volleyball, she loved it, Y/n would have earphones twenty four hours a day, seven days a week, three hundred and sixty-five days a year if she could. She was always in music room 3 playing whatever instrument she could get her hands one. She had taught herself to play them all, not once took lessons. Oikawa had sat with her hundreds upon thousands of times in that room watching her, whether it was her fingers gliding gracefully across the ivory and black keys of the piano, the way her eyes would close when she really got into the melody or the way she would get into the beat while she played the drums. But his favourite was the guitar. He loved watching Y/n play the guitar, the way her fingers glided over the strings, it didn't matter what kind of guitar, be it an acoustic, bass, or electric or what song she would play whether it was a slow romantic song or a quicker upbeat one she never missed a cord, all the mattered was being able to see her play it. 

"You're making it obvious." Hanamaki's hushed voice reached Oikawa's ears as he was jabbed in the ribs by the outside hitter. The jab was what Oikawa needed to drag him out of his thoughts, realising he had been staring at her this entire time. Semi knew how the other setter felt for his girlfriend, Oikawa wasn't exactly being subtle with his feelings nor was he hiding them very well, and well everyone knew. 

Well, everyone bar the girl in question.

Oikawa had had his chance, eighteen years he had and didn't make his move, so Semi did. One thing that Semi had always wondered was how on earth had Y/n never realised how in love Oikawa was with her, it was so obvious how could she not see it, the brunette boy would do literally anything just to make her smile. 

"Baby?" Semi hummed as he turned towards his girlfriend's voice that had called out to him, a gentle smile across his lips as saw her beautiful face, "My turn, can you pass me the guitar, please?"   
Semi happily obliged, passing her the guitar with a gentle lingering kiss to her forehead, catching the way Oikawa's hands clenched tightly, his knuckles turning white. Semi had to bite back the chuckle, but he noticed how Oikawa instantly relaxed as Y/n fingers ran over the cords as she played a few random notes before she began to play 'Gold Rush' by Ed Sheeran, Semi was the same as Oikawa when his girlfriend played the guitar he relaxes. 

'Smoke alarm went off at nine~' Y/n voice flowed in perfect harmony with the guitar, Oikawa couldn't help but let the gentle smile across his lips at the sounds of her voice once again, yet it quickly disappeared again as Semi joined in their voice mixing softly and sweetly, they harmonised perfectly together. 

The jealous once again flared up, he cursed himself for being jealous, her happiness was more important and if she was happy with Semi then so be it, and he wouldn't tell her, no, not wouldn't, more like he couldn't tell her that he loved her, not now he has seen how happy she was with him. 

He knew he should have told her when he realised three years ago during their first year of high school. They were in the music room, Y/n had recently taught herself how to play the drums, and that was where she was sat, at the drum kit, her eyes close as she played some song from the early two thousand, he was pretty sure it was AC/DC, it could have been the song 'Can't Stop Rock 'n' Roll'. Oikawa smiled as he tapped his foot along to the beat she was creating, she was lost in her own world, the music absorbing her, she was unaware of her surroundings, so much so he was able to sneak a picture of her. He had it printed and framed. He kept it safe on his desk at home and another two copies, one in his gym bag and the other in his locker. Oikawa once again pulled out his phone, but this time he took a picture of the couple, both still singing with beautiful, loving smiles on their faces. 

God, how he wished Y/n looking at him like that, the way she was looking at Semi. For her to adore him and allow her to let him treasure her. Oikawa knew he would treat her like the queen she is, he would worship the ground she walked on, well like he already did, he would drop anything to be by her side if she needed him, do anything to see her smile. Oikawa knew that was never going to happen now. Not unless Semi fucked up and at that, he would have to fuck up massively and if he ever did Toru Oikawa would be the one there to be her shoulder to cry one, pick her back up, stand her on her feet wipe those tears away and show her just how much he loves, cares and cherishes her. 

He knew she was in the stands; she always was, Y/n had never once missed one of his matches, official or practice she was always there. He was the same if she had a gig or competition, he was there to support her. 

His eyes locked on to her figure, instantly spotting she was still wearing his spare jersey, he was glad tradition never changed since she had been wearing his jersey to the matches since forever. It was different this time, with her was Semi his arms were wrapped around her waist, and his chin was planted on her shoulder, he could see their lips move at a rapid pace as they spoke to one another, Y/n giggling every now and then at something the ash-blond setter had said. Y/n felt a pair of eyes on her, spotting Oikawa was staring at her, she gave him a grin and a wave before she mouthed 'Rule the court king!' the same words she says before every match, but this time it was different she was standing in another's man's arms.   
"You manage to lose the girl of your dreams." Kageyama taunted from the other side of the net while he glanced between the h/c girl with her boyfriend and his heartbroken former captain with a smug grin firmly planted on his lips. "Impressive." 

"Piss off Tobio-chan." The jealousy was clear in his voice as he venomously spat the words out, he felt disgusted with the bitter taste coating his tongue again, Oikawa's own eyes flickered back to where she was stood just as she turned in Semi's arms cupping her boyfriend's cheek placing a chaste kiss to his lips. Oikawa closed his eyes and bit his lower lip as he turned back towards his team, the suffocating jealous flooded his veins. 

Iwaizumi didn't know what he could say or do to help Oikawa through this. He honestly wished that Semi didn't treat her so perfectly, not that he would want Y/n to be treated any less than a princess or mistreated, but if he did, he knew then Oikawa would be the one to be there to pick up the broken piece of her heart and fit them back together.   
A thought had crossed Iwaizumi's mind that it was just a ploy that Shiratorizawa's team had come up with to break his friend for their next match against one another. But it wasn't a ploy. It couldn't be, Iwaizumi knew you couldn't fake the look of pure love, and adoration Semi's eye's held, and the way he was the perfect gentlemen, treating Y/n was the uttermost respect, Semi adored her, and he showed it to the world with the little signs of affection, he would always pick her up from school if he was able to, surprise her with pineapple mochi, it didn't take him long to work her love for it. The silver chain necklace that he had brought on their six-month anniversary adorned her neck since the day he fastened it. When they went to the zoo on their date, he even got them matching phone charms. 

The Seijoh third years looked at their captain with pitiful looks on their face as they saw the longing glances he sent to Y/n. "Stop." Oikawa muttered as he walked up to his friends, "I don't want your pity. It's my own fault I should have told her three years ago."   
The three lads gave him a sheepish smile, as much as Oikawa drove them around the bend, he was still their friend, and they didn't like seeing him like this, heartbroken and miserable. Oikawa had been putting his acting to the test in front of Y/n, putting up his confident, happy personality but if you looked close into those chocolate brown eyes of his, you could see just how broken and hurt he was over this. 

"You got that right. You should have told her then," Iwaizumi said as he firmly clamped his hand down on Oikawa's shoulder causing the captain to flinch at the force reminding him just how powerful his vice captain's spikes can be. 

"So, let's beat Karasuno today," Hanamaki smirked, slapping his back. 

"Then tomorrow we will take down Shiratorizawa, and you can show Y/n who is the superior setter." Matsukawa also smirked, landing a punch to his right shoulder. 

The whole match was intense, the score so close each set and the final set ended up in a deuce. Y/n was gripping Semi's arm tightly the whole match, it was more than likely cutting off his blood circulation. As Hinata's final spike passed the blockers and straight to Oikawa ready to receive it, but even, so it wasn't enough to keep the ball in play and the match ending with Karasuno proceeding to the finals. 

Y/n untangled herself from Semi's arms as she rushed forward to the front of the stands, tears streaming down her cheeks as she watched her best friend try to regain his composure over the shock that they had just lost, watching as Oikawa and Kageyama stared at each other, she couldn't hear what he said but looking a lot like a declaration of war. 

The two teams spoke to the opposing coaches before returning back to their respective coaches, and as the seijoh boys spoke to coach Irihata, the team started to tear up, Y/n could see Oikawa was trying to stay strong for his team, holding back his tears, as the team jogged over to thank those who had come to watch them, Y/n saw that even Iwaizumi was crying, she knew what was passing through his head. She knew he was thinking how can he call himself the Ace if he can't even land the last shot. She watched as Oikawa firmly slapped Iwaizumi's back, followed by Matsukawa and Hanamaki as they joined the others lined up. 

"Thank you for coming," Oikawa said, firmly refusing to meet Y/n eyes, as much as he knew she was trying to get him to look at her. How could he meet her beautiful eyes when he was so ashamed of himself? "Thank you for coming." The rest of the team chorused as they bowed, the claps rang in their ears. 

"She's crying." Oikawa heard Matsukawa mumble from next to him. "Look at her, she needs to see you're okay." 

"I can't." Oikawa barely choked out as his eyes stayed glued to the floor, he bit his lip firmly as he held his tears back. "How can I look at the girl I love when I am a disappointment, I can't even get my team to nationals when he can. Tell me how to Matsukawa." Matsukawa's eyes widened as he heard his full name spill from his captain's lips. 

"Clearly, I was nor will I ever be good enough for her," Oikawa told his fellow third years his back turned to them as he grabbed his bag, his hand in a fist his nails firmly digging into his palm as he blinked back his tears as he walked away, he needs to stay strong, for his team, he has to hold it together for them. 

"Toru?" His whole body tensed up as he heard her hoarse sniffle filled voice met his ears. He slowly turned around to see her standing there a little behind him down the empty hallway, eyes red and puffy as the tears still leaked from them. Rubbing the sleeve of her hoodie against the tip of her red nose, the only thing he could think was how beautiful she still looked even though she was a sniffling snotty mess. Glancing behind her, Oikawa spotted the ash-blond boy about fifteen to twenty feet away from them, he was on his phone, but Oikawa knew he was watching them interact. 

"I just want to be alone right now Y/n." His voice void of any emotion, her eyes widened as she heard him say Y/n, not the usual Y/n-Chan he always called her. He turned to continue his journey back to the bus to return to school, but as he took a step forward, her grip on the back of his jacket stopped him. 

"I'm still so proud of you." Her voice was scarcely above a murmur, but he heard her words. "In my eyes, you will always be the king of the court, and I will always be by your side no matter the outcome of a match, always supporting you." Y/n took another step forward, wrapping her arms around his middle, left check settled against his back. "So, promise me you will get your crown back."   
Oikawa bowed his head as silent tears began to flow from his own eyes. Y/n knew he was crying but the way he would take deep breaths trying to calm himself and the quiet choked sobs. Her grip tightens around him, causing his heart to leap in his chest, he prayed that she didn't feel it.   
"Promise me Toru." Y/n's voice was firm yet still shaking slightly from the amount she had been crying.   
"I promise." Voice cracking as Oikawa spoke those words. He gently loosens her grip on his team jacket before turning around pulling Y/n into a tight hug, her face instantly buried into the crook of his neck as her arms found their way under the jacket to grip on to his jersey tightly - his chin resting on the top of her head. The two childhood best friends stood there in each other's arms as they silently cried. In that moment Oikawa imagined that the girl in his arms was his, not realising just how cruel he was to being himself as he repeatedly chanted 'I love you' in his head. He loved how perfectly she fitted in her arms, the way her head fitted into the crook of his neck.   
"I promise that one day I will make you proud to call me your best friend." Oikawa's voice dropping a few octaves as he buried his nose into her hair carefully inhaled her rose-like scent engraving the smell into his mind.   
"I am always proud of you and to call you my best friend." She pulled back looking up into his eyes which held such a proud gaze before she glanced back over her shoulder to her boyfriend, which in turn reminded Oikawa that the girl he was holding wasn't his.   
"Go." Oikawa sighed shakily as he slackens his grip, yet he didn't let go completely, wanting to keep her in his arms a little longer, he gave her a tight smile, "I'll text you later."   
"My window is always open." Y/n replied, giving him a light punch to arm, returning his smile as she slipped out of his arms, taking a step back. He chuckled at her comment, he knew she wasn’t lying, her window was always open, and he had often snuck in when either of them was feeling a little low or just wanted to hang out with one another. Her window was most straightforward to climb up to if you knew how, his window, on the other hand, was not so easy to get too.   
Oikawa watched as she walked back to Semi, his jaw clenching as he watched the girl who didn't know owned his heart snuggled into another man's side, Semi planned a long kiss on her forehead, causing a loving smile to grace her lips made Oikawa's heart skip a beat at her smile yet the jealousy bubbled in his chest once again suffocating him.  
"Oi, Shittykawa." He felt Iwaizumi hand on his shoulder, tearing his gaze away from the happy couple. He looked at the Ace whose gaze held so much sympathy for the setter. "Come on." was all Iwaizumi said as he began to guide the setter back to the bus.   
"Oh, Toru?" He looked over his shoulder to look at her calling him. "Get some ice on your knee please." He closed his eyes, chuckling with a nodded, of course, she knew his knee hurt after he slipped and landed on it during the match. 

"Toru darling? Is that you?" Oikawa heard his mother's voice rang through the house from the kitchen as he stepped through the front door one early spring Saturday afternoon after a long day of training. "Yea it's me." He called back, trying to mask the gloomy tone to his voice. "I'm going to go take a shower."   
"Toru hasn't been the same since Y/n got that boyfriend of hers." He heard his mother say causing him to falter in his step midway up the stairs, his hand gripped the bannister tightly. Had he really failed to hide his feelings? Does that mean Y/n knows? Is that why she seems so distant from him now?   
"He's a nice kid and treats her right but I just so desperately wanted to see Y/n and Toru together." He heard M/n sigh, of course, it was the weekly girl's night their mothers had, this week was at his house.   
"Mhm, I was looking forward to planning their wedding." Oikawa took a seat on the stairs as he continued to listen to the women's conversation, he smiled slightly at the fact that even their mothers wanted them to be together. How he would love to marry her, he knew she wanted a ruby and diamond platinum - since she said yellow gold doesn't suit her - engagement ring. He knew what kind of wedding she wanted, a small affair with family and friends, the colours champagne and white.   
"Oh, and sharing grandmother duties, those two would make us some beautiful grandchildren." The women were gushing happily over the idea of being grandparents again. The way they were speaking was as if they didn't already have a grandchild each.   
Oikawa sighed happily at the thought of their children, he could see them having three or four; actually, he would have as many as Y/n would let him have. He wanted at least one daughter, hopefully, a carbon copy of her mother. She was definitely going to be a complete and utter daddy's girl who he would spoil rotten and sons he could teach to play volleyball, of course, his daughter too if she so wished. He could see evenings where they would all sit and watch movies together or watch their mother play one of the many instruments she knew how to play, he could see her teaching them to play them as well.   
He felt a tear slip from his eye from the thoughts he was having, as if he was grieving for a future he knew he would never see, quickly wiping it away he continued his journey up the stairs and grabbed a pair of clean boxers and sweats from his room before making his way into the bathroom. He switches on the hot water before stripping off he throwing his sweaty workout clothes in the laundry basket, he lets the water get to temperature before getting in. Oikawa allowed hot water to run over him, setting his hands firmly on the wall in front of him, bowing his head as he watched the water run down the drain. Finally allowing everything he felt from the day flood out, he was impressed with how he managed to hold it all together and was grateful for the fact the rushing water was covering up the sobs that racked his body.   
The pain in his chest became unbearable as he thought about the future he had planned out in his mind. The image of Y/n and Semi wrapped up in one another's arms and their children running around flashed through his mind causing yet another series of sharp sobs to rack through his body. He was kicking himself for being so stupid as to leave so long to tell her.   
"Toru?" His next sob caught in his throat as he heard her voice call through the door with a light knock. "Are you okay?"   
"Y-yea!" He choked out, gritting his teeth at the fact he stuttered, that was the first time he had heard her voice in this week, she seemed to be avoiding him recently, she left earlier to a school than him and lunch she spent it in the music room.   
"Oh, okay." He knew that tone of voice, she was feeling down, something was wrong, "It's just you have been in there a while, like nearly half an hour." He could picture her standing outside the door fiddling with her fingers, "Aunty is planning on ordering take away, so if you could come out soon, please."   
"Sure, I'll be out in a bit." He replied, grabbing his shampoo hair before washing his body. He got out the shower drying himself with the fluffy white towel before slipping on his clean clothes, he looked in the mirror, noticing his eyes were slightly red and puffy. Groaning Oikawa splashed some freezing water on his face before heading to his room to grab a hoodie before he went downstairs only to find Y/n sat on his bed, her gaze focused out the window with her knees curled up to her chest with her nose buried between her them. Her eyes held a faraway look, he knew she was upset this was one of her go-to places and position when she was upset.   
"Y/n?" He questioned quietly, so quietly that wouldn't have heard it if you weren't in the room. Y/n jumped at the sound of his gentle whisper, bringing her out of her thoughts.   
"When were you going to tell me?" She asked her voice also matching his tone as her eyes never left the window.   
"W-what?" He stuttered out; did she know that he loved her?   
"Brazil Toru." Her head turned to look at him, tears running down her cheeks, his eyes widened. How did she find out? He grabbed the nearest alien hoodie from his desk chair pulling it over his head.   
"I'm-" he sighed as he took a few steps closer to her "I'm sorry, I just hadn't found the right time to tell you." Gripping his hoodie, she pulled him closer as she turned her body to face him full, her legs hanging over the edge of the bed, making him stand between her legs as Y/n wrapped her arms around his waist buried her head in his stomach as she started to sob.   
"This is why I have been avoiding you recently. I didn't know how to bring it up either, I overheard Makki and Iwa talking about it." She gasped out, struggling for breath, over how hard she is crying, "Toru," She sniffled, "w-what am I going to do without you?"   
Oikawa was crying as well now, his arms securely wrapped around her, gently stroking her hair.   
"We have been by one another's side for the past eighteen years. We have stuck together, through thick and thin. You were here for me when my arse of a father walked out, and I have always been there for you when you needed me, picking you up when you fell, figuratively and physically. You're my rock, Toru."   
"Oh, Y/n," his own voice cracked, "You're my rock too. I will always be there for you, wherever it is, I will always be but a message or phone call away."   
"And I, you Toru, I will always be here for you no matter what." She looked up at him, her glassy e/c eyes peering at him questioningly "Why Brazil though?"   
"It was the best offer, and I promised to make you proud. I am so sorry I didn't tell you; I just didn't know how."   
"It's okay," She smiled as the tears-stains on her cheeks gave them a slight glow, she still looked stunning, her b/c hair half tied back in a ponytail. The tip of her nose was red, making her look so cute, even with her bloodshot eyes. The urge to cup her jaw in his hands and kiss her with all the passion and love he could muster was almost too much to resist as the tsunami of emotions swirled inside him, they were being to crack the dam he had built to keep them in and protect his heart as well as to not ruin the friendship he treasured so dearly.   
"When do you leave?" She questioned, tilting her head on one side, looking like an adorable inquisitive owl. "After we graduate."   
"Toru," Her voice holding fake anger as she scolded him, he knew she didn't mean it by the playful look in her eyes, "We are just going to have to make so many more memories before you go." She smirked at him tugging on the strings of his hood, "And I want this hoodie before you go." 

"Fine," He sighed with a cheeky smile and a playful roll of his eyes. 

Graduation rolled around far too quickly, the five third years spent a lot of time together, creating as many treasured memories as they could, going to theme parks, Y/n spent time teaching Oikawa how to make milk bread so he wouldn't miss his favourite treat too much. Over those few months, Oikawa just kept falling deeper and deeper in love with her. He was standing in the airport still a little while till his flight, he had checked in already, all he had to do was go through security. Stood in front of him wearing his hoodie was Y/n, tears in her eyes but with a small smile on her face. 

"I'm going to miss you Toru," She clutched her hands in front of her, "but, like we said only a text or a phone call away." Placing his carryon bag down on the floor. Oikawa steps forward, pulling her into a tight hug, enjoying the feeling of her in his arms again. "I'm going to miss you too," blinking back his tears, "even though we may be thousands of miles apart you will always be my best friend, and always be there for you no matter what." 

Pulling away to check the time on his phone, he had an hour till his gate closed but he needed to go before he changed his mind and decided to stay. "Sorry Y/n-Chan I got to go; I want to be safe and not miss my flight." Oikawa's heart was breaking that he had to leave her, that she wouldn't be just a few seconds walk away. The flood of emotion consumed him as he felt his feelings for her nearly tumble out of his lips as he stared into her e/c eyes, that were clouded with unfallen tears for him. Oikawa was contemplating whether to tell her or not, deciding with the latter he thought it was best not to leave with telling her he had been in love with her for the last god knows how many years. 

"It's okay Toru, I'll see you soon." She grabbed his hand, giving it a final squeeze. 

“Of course, Y/n-Chan, I'll be back at Christmas." He grinned, ruffling her hair, letting go of her hand. 

Y/n stood there as she watched her best friend step through security. Tears streamed down her face as she knew it would be the last time she saw him for a long time. Oikawa looked over his shoulder, his heart broke even more at her tears. He gave her a gentle smile and wave before he disappeared out of her line of sight, allowing his own tears to fall. Deciding in those few seconds that he would use the thousands of miles distance to finally get over her. 

Four years. 

Oikawa had hoped that after four fucking years he would have finally been able to move on, but he was wrong, no matter how many dates he went on with other girls, none of them ever made him feel the way she did and to make matters worse he saw and heard her everywhere he goes. During their university days, Y/n and Semi decided to start a band, they only did it for fun, but they got noticed, and now they were world-famous. They were adored by many, their songs always being played on the radio, television interviews and news articles galore. He, of course, listened to the album they had dropped, and she still sang like an angel. 

But right now, the most challenging choice he would ever have to face was happening, no match would ever be as hard as this decision would be. 

"So, will you?" Y/n asked as she sat opposite Oikawa outside a delightful little coffee shop on a quiet side street of Buenos Aires. The Ruby and diamond platinum engagement ring sparkled under the warm morning sun. Oikawa wasn't going to deny it was a pretty ring but the one he had spent many endless sleepless nights designing would have suited her much better. 

"Why him?" Oikawa could not help but let the question spill from his lips, he needed to know, it was so quiet, barely audible. 

"W-what?" Y/n stuttered out blinking in shock at her best friend's question, even with how quiet his voice was when he asked her, Y/n still heard what he said. 

"Why him Y/n?" Oikawa asked louder, with more confidence with a clear voice. 

"What do you mean why him?" She snapped before she sighed, she knew he was just making sure she was making the right choice, which he was but he was also trying to understand why she hadn’t ever noticed how much he loved her. 

"Toru, Eita and I have been together for five years now. Of course, we have had our difficulties and being in the band together does create a few arguments, but we have made it through those problems. I love him, and I know he loves me. Eita has always treated me with the uttermost respect and love, never has he hurt me, and I believe he never will." 

Y/n closed her eyes, wrapping her hands around her mug as she took a deep breath looking up into those brown eyes, she has known all her life. "So please Toru, would you, as my oldest, closest and dearest friend will you please be the one to walk me down the aisle and give me away?" 

His heart shattered into a million pieces like a glass shattering as it hit the floor as he listened to her words, but for her, for her happiness, he would put on a brave smile and replied, "Of course, I would love too." 

So, he did, not even six months later he was standing outside her dressing room where she got ready with her bridesmaids, he knocked on the door gently as her mother opened the door giving Oikawa a tight sad smile, which he returned before she pulled him into a hug. "I'm sorry," She whispered into his ear, "It should have been you, my dear boy." The older women let a quiet sob escape from her lips. Oikawa could not say a word because if he did, he would cry and would admit how he felt to her, so he just gave the older h/c woman a nod as he bit his lip blinking back his tears. 

The wedding was beautiful. She was beautiful, the dress made her glow, and her loving, joyful smile did not leave her face the entire day, Oikawa managed to hold back from objecting - somehow - when he had the chance to. His speech made her cry, and they danced a few times together that night, he cherished the time they had together that day, still wishing she was marrying him and not Semi. 

"How are you doing?" Iwaizumi asked as he stood next to Oikawa while they watched the first dance. 

"As good as I can be, I suppose." Oikawa shrugged, sipping his whiskey on the rocks. 

"I'm impressed you didn't object." Oikawa scoffed before biting his lip, and he whispered: "I wanted to." 

2021 rolled around, and Y/n and Semi's band was asked to perform at the opening for the Olympic, as always, the performance was mesmerising, Oikawa's eyes were glued to her the entire time. "Uncle Toru!" Her sweet little three-year-old voice called out. 

"Amaya!" He grinned, turning around as her little legs ran towards him, he scooped her up in his arms spinning around, her giggle was like music to his ears. 

He stopped spinning to look at the child in his arms, she was perfect likeness to his best friend when she was a child; the only difference was her eyes; she had her father's sharp brown eyes, they should have been his molten chocolate brown eyes, this beautiful girl that should have been his baby girl, the child that should have been calling him papa not Uncle Toru. "I've missed you." She wrapped her little arms around Oikawa's neck. "I missed you too little one." Wrapping his arms around her. 

"Amaya!" Oikawa heard her mother's voice call out in panic. "Where are you?" 

"Did you run away from your mother?" Oikawa smirked playfully with raised eyebrows. Amaya pulled away from Oikawa's hug, setting her hands on his shoulder, with a guilty look on her face. 

" Y/n!" Oikawa called out to h/c women. She turned around at the sound of his voice, seeing Oikawa stood with her daughter in his arms. Sighing out in relief, placing a hand on her heart as she saw her daughter in his arms. 

"Amaya, don't scare me like that." Y/n scolded her daughter, and the gentle look was in Oikawa's eyes, he was still so in love with her, he loved how good of a mother she was.   
"Y/n? Did you find her?" Semi's voice rang in his ears, dragging him out of his thoughts as he watched Y/n scold Amaya. 

"Toru had her, she must have spotted him." Y/n called back over her shoulder as he walked towards them. "She called out to me and came flying in my direction." Oikawa smiled at the happily married couple. "You know that wasn't safe Amaya what if I didn't hear you." 

"I'm sorry," The small h/c girl lips trembled as she spoke. Oikawa pulled her closer and placed a kiss on her forehead. "It's okay, just don't do it again." 

"Oh, Uncle Toru! Guess what?" Amaya suddenly chirps back up again. 

"What?" He asked just as excitedly as her. 

"I'm going to be a big sister!" She cried out throwing her hands up in the air in excitement. He glanced at Y/n for confirmation, and he got a nod and sweet smile in reply. "No way! That is going to be awesome! You're going to be such a good big sister." 

Oikawa had grown numb to the stinging pain in his chest after all these years. The day he found out Y/n was pregnant, he was over the moon for her, but of course, he still thought it should have been him. 

Y/n had often asked Oikawa why he had yet to get married or be in a committed relationship that lasted more than six months, most of the time he lied saying he had yet to find the right girl, and he wanted to concentrate on volleyball. She believed his lies. Oikawa knew he may never get over her, and if he did, it would be a miracle. 

"Toru why have you never gotten married?" She asked again, her voice cracking and raspy from crying so hard, grasping his hand tightly, as he led in his hospital bed.   
It was time he decided, he did not have much longer, outside the room looking through the window was her family, the four children she had and her husband, both his and her mother and of course Iwaizumi. Amaya, who was incredibly close to her uncle, was sobbing into her fathers chest. He wasn't expecting his life to end like this, stage four lung cancer, for someone who never smoked a day in his life and was fit as anything he did not expect to go out like this.

He knew he wouldn't have much longer. 

"Cause it was always you." He choked out, struggling to breath "I have been so in love with you for the past thirty years." He watched as her eyes widened and her lips parted "Before you even ask me why I didn't move on, I tried Y/n I tried so hard to move on, I saw so many people Y/n but not one of them compared to you." 

The tears began to stream down her face once again. "It's always been you," cupping her cheek, stroking her tears away. "Why didn't you ever tell me? I was so in love with you during our last year of middle school and most of high school, but I never t-thought you loved me, so-” She choked on another sob “-so, I moved on." 

She buried her head in the crook of his neck as she cried. He was kicking himself. She loved him all those years ago, and he blew it. He wrapped his arms around her as they both cried. He took in a raspy breath, knowing it was going to be his last. 

As he whispered out his final words, he would every speak he had no regrets so glad he could finally speak the words he had always wished he could say to her, 

"I love you so much."

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! Sorry for breaking your heart at the end :) yet I hope you all enjoyed it! Let me know what you thought! Come and join the discord [The Beanbag](https://discord.gg/vDjEr77FnN), called The Beanbag and join my community and meet all sorts of amazing people!


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